A sc-RUM-ptious Christmas recipe

Everyone loves a good festive recipe - and don't forget the rum! Pic: UNSPLASH

By Gabriella Payne

With the festive season once again upon us, locals have been sharing their Christmas ideas and recipes in the lead up to the big day – and this funny one caught our eye.

Longwarry residents had a good chuckle when this recipe popped up on the local Facebook noticeboard recently, and we thought we’d share it with you too – Merry Christmas!

(Shared by a Longwarry local, original writer unknown):

It’s that time of year and since I’ve been unofficially crowned “Fruit Cake Queen“, here is my recipe.


Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my rum Christmas cake recipe so here goes.

Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year! (Made mine this morning!)

Ingredients: 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, lemon juice, 4 large eggs, nuts, 1 bottle rum, 2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of rum to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the rum again to be sure it is of the highest quality then repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar.

Beat again.

At this point, it is best to make sure the rum is still OK.

Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the rum to test for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

Check the rum.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.

Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

Finish the rum and wipe the counter with the cat.

Merry Christmas.